31.5 Getting naked in front of the world

Your heart is beating faster and faster
there is hesitation
a chance to turn back
and then the opportunity to act

Hitting the ‘publish’ button will be one such moment for me.

How many times after hesitating do we turn back, into familiar territory, often relieved but also perhaps a little disappointed that we did not act?

My close friends see me as courageous, often taking risks where they are unwilling to do so. However, I don’t see myself as courageous as I know there are many times that I retreat into my comfort zone. e.g. I have wanted to blog for sometime now but there has been a fear of exposing myself that has kept me from doing so. I won’t be able to control my image, there will be people out there who will make snap judgements about me, criticise my style, etc. You are only reading this as I made a promise that I would publish my first blog today.

For most of my life, I have always tried to portray a sense of perfection, having it all handled and uncertainty often causes my stress levels to rocket. In school I was the person who aced things, I always did well at work and have been successful at most things I have turned my hand to. I’ve spent a lifetime trying to be independent and doing it all myself, but the past year has made to look at things differently. I’ve had to especially as I’ve left the security of a job to pursue a passion and hoping to make a successful business out of it.

I currently have a few situations where I have been hesitant. Writing this blog has meant I’ve made a few decisions too! I’ve basically been scared of exposing myself, of putting my neck on the line and getting it chopped off! The reasoning usually is that until I choose, my options are open, but by that same reasoning, all options are also out of reach. Maintaining the status quo may provide a certain degree of certainty but it’s also boring. It is only by stepping out into the unknown, exposing myself will I ever know how it will go. It is also being able to dance with the uncertainty and be able to bear it for long enough not to close things down. Taking one step and then the next and continuing down that path, fully committed. I will let you know how things are going in future posts.

After all, uncertainty is where the excitement and adventure is, it’s those times when you go off travelling somewhere very different, riding that new rollercoaster ride and not knowing where the dips and bends are. The butterflies in your stomach, the trepidation, the exhilaration; it’s the thing that causes your heart to pump blood around your body so that you feel fully alive, rather than merely existing. This will open up a whole new world; you may or may not get the outcome you wanted… but you will have lived.

So where are you hesitant and what if instead of turning back, you stepped forward into the unknown? What would you do?

As a side note, I am also very much looking forward to reading Jonathan Fields’ book ‘Uncertainty’. It’s launched in the US tomorrow and hoping my copy finds me very soon.

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20 thoughts on “31.5 Getting naked in front of the world

  1. Anna Sexton / Open To Create... says:

    Excellent blog post…I have been doing a top quality job of hiding out on myself re. making the space to write and practice a pitch for investment for a new business I am setting up having left the ‘security’ of my last contract of work. And the saddest part is this is not the only place that I do this hiding out from things which are new and different. Your post if a frank expression of something I can relate to and if we are honest all humans go through daily. Spot on.
    I am a true believer in living in the certainty of the uncertain and finding comfort in that. so thanks for the reminder
    Looking forward to the next instalment.

    • Sufiya says:

      Anna, thank you for writing a very honest comment and be willing to say what is going on for you. After writing the blog, it made me look at my approach to uncertainty more conciously. It’s easy to feel the fear and then do nothing or retreat back into our comfort zones. I decided to take on the practice of taking a risk a day and actually it has helped me take a few more and not feel so uncomfortable with it. Good luck with the pitching- my next blog which is already on my blog page might help you “Practice and Preparation Lead to Spontaneity” (I think I mixed up my links from twitter and so you might have been directed to this blog instead of the latest one).

  2. Nigel Camp says:

    Hi Sufiya. I really enjoyed reading your blog. I know what it can be like when you feel exposed writing something, but you are part of a small group of people who have the courage to chase their dreams rather than just talk about them. Starting any business takes courage and the process is something people just wont get if there are still hooked inside of their secure jobs going through the motions as if they were on an assembly line. Keep up the writing and I shall be checking up on future write ups.

    • Sufiya says:

      Thank you for your lovely, thoughtful comment. I’m finding that writing about something helps me take action and creates accountability too (which can be lacking when you work for yourself). I’m hoping that sharing my journey will help others who are already on that path and also help the decision making process for those that have not yet made the leap. Looking forward to writing many more posts. Remember, Wednesdays is blog day 🙂

  3. Bridget Hunt says:

    Love it Sufiya – really nice writing. I can really relate to what you wrote! I have similar thought patterns. Really looking forward to reading more.

    • Sufiya says:

      Thank you Bridget. The thing about these type of thought patterns is just that- they are just thoughts that are untrue but we’ve developed a habitual way of thinking. The only way to get out of them is to form new patterns and habits. I’m sure it’s very similar to the habits people form around eating too, which you are an expert on. Are you blooging yet? Would love to read your posts if you are.

  4. Kristie West says:

    Well done Sufiya! Very proud of you! This is just the beginning. As you get more and more comfortable blogging you’ll find this is one of the most valuable ways of sharing and of clarifying your ideas and views. Can’t wait to read the next one!

    • Sufiya says:

      It means a lot to me for the blogging queen to say this. I was going to seek out your expert help but left it too late and thought it best just to give it a whirl. Until the next one!

  5. Well done Sufiya for being brave enough to expose your true self to the world! I look forward to your future posts.


    • Sufiya says:

      Thanks for reading and leaving a comment. Next post out next week, I’ll be interested myself to know what I end up writing about. I feel the floodgates have opened and there is no shortage of material.

  6. Great first blogpost Sufiya – that hardest part is getting started, and you’ve hit that nail on the head. When are we going to get the next post??? And can we have some pictures too?

    The silly thing about feeling like you’re ‘exposing’ yourself is an internal thing because unless you get traffic to your blog i.e. strangers, then no-one will see it anyway!

    • Sufiya says:

      For now, I will be posting weekly so next one out next week. I will be adding pictures and even video and audio in upcoming posts so thanks for suggesting that.

      Yes, it’s very true, unless people actually come onto this site and read my post there is no danger of exposure. Sometimes it is just taking that first step that is the hardest. After that, you wonder what all the fuss was about. I am really looking forward to writing more and getting exposed!

  7. Chet says:

    Great start Sufiya. As others have said you have a wonderful writing style and this was a very interesting topic that we can all relate to. Well done!

  8. Marte says:

    Well done you!!! I enjoyed reading it! You definitely have a skill for writing. I guess the pressure is now on me to make the jump!

    • Sufiya says:

      Marte, no pressure at all… seriously. Maybe just see if you can come up with some possible blog titles and then pick a date in the future for your first blog post. You have lots of interesting things to share, not least your pictures. Thank you for saying you like my style- I think that was one of the things that I was most concerned about!

  9. Thank you Sufiya, you have given me what I needed to get started too. I can relate to what you have shared. I look forward to your next blog.

    • Sufiya says:

      Anna, glad to have given you a jump-start. Do let me know when you have written it, I would be very interested to read it. Go and step into the unknown- it’s exciting out here 🙂

  10. drharleyfarmer says:

    That was a great blog, especially for a first attempt. I felt it lost a bit with the mention of someone else in the final sentence as it somehow broke the rapport you’d built up. However you presumably a good reason and it’s your blog so do what you want.
    Your writing style is excellent and feels really comfortable to read.
    Have fun – you are now a blogger and I think you’ll find people want to hear more of what you have to say.

    • Sufiya says:

      Thank you Dr Harley for your lovely comments. I totally appreciate what you say about mentioning someone else in the last sentence. I guess I was trying to allude to the fact that I still have more to learn abot being with uncertainty and I really respect the author of that book and looking forward to his views. Looking forward to writing the next post 🙂

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